I left the department immediately I saw 34F. I was destabilized and shocked. Visibly shaking, I did not know when tears started streaming out of my eyes. Different thoughts started crossing my mind. This course I failed is a pre-requisite to lots of courses in part 2 and once anyone fails this course, it could lead to an extra year. All these made me more grieved and tears were now flowing freely from my face. How do I cope with this? A lot of people will be disappointed- my father, my colleagues considering the fact that I am the class pastor.
As I was crying, my close friends suddenly appeared. I told them what happened and they were shocked as these were the same set of people that we study together. They could not bear seeing me crying and they pleaded with me that I should stop crying then I asked a question- “people give testimonies that when they started serving God, their academics got better, then why is my own case different?” My friends reminded me that the faithfulness of God cannot be questioned in any case, but I was adamant that God has simply betrayed me.
God is not unrighteous to forget the labour of our love and He is not a man that would lie neither is He a son of man that he would change His mind, has he ever promised something and not fulfill it? I looked at the two of them as they have suddenly turned into lawyers trying to defend God. I succumbed to their preaching and agreed that God is faithful.
The following day, I checked from the course coordinator and I came out jumping up with a 62B. I thought I will continue rejoicing until one of the two friends told me that God was only testing me. I don’t need anybody to tell me the result of the test. I knew I had failed. Fear rose up within me like a whirlwind; I became downcast and felt like a prodigal son.
That night, I was scared to pray; I was scared to face Him, but I never knew that He was working on me all the while. I was panting and He was smiling, but I came out refined and better and we both smiled. Now I am happy that I have passed through fire and realized that God is faithful in all situations.
As I was crying, my close friends suddenly appeared. I told them what happened and they were shocked as these were the same set of people that we study together. They could not bear seeing me crying and they pleaded with me that I should stop crying then I asked a question- “people give testimonies that when they started serving God, their academics got better, then why is my own case different?” My friends reminded me that the faithfulness of God cannot be questioned in any case, but I was adamant that God has simply betrayed me.
God is not unrighteous to forget the labour of our love and He is not a man that would lie neither is He a son of man that he would change His mind, has he ever promised something and not fulfill it? I looked at the two of them as they have suddenly turned into lawyers trying to defend God. I succumbed to their preaching and agreed that God is faithful.
The following day, I checked from the course coordinator and I came out jumping up with a 62B. I thought I will continue rejoicing until one of the two friends told me that God was only testing me. I don’t need anybody to tell me the result of the test. I knew I had failed. Fear rose up within me like a whirlwind; I became downcast and felt like a prodigal son.
That night, I was scared to pray; I was scared to face Him, but I never knew that He was working on me all the while. I was panting and He was smiling, but I came out refined and better and we both smiled. Now I am happy that I have passed through fire and realized that God is faithful in all situations.
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