Fear Almost Won

It was after a morning devotion in NCCF family house that the brother called me and began to give me the news that I needed the least. The discussion with this brother created a massive plot of land for fear within me. I thought the end had come.

My room during the service year was a small place that served as an office, a store and also a room. The room is like the reception of the house as it is the first place you would enter in the house. This made the room always full of visitors from within and without.

Loads that were unwanted in the rooms of other corps members has a ready slot in the store part of the room, so this created a suitable place for rats to jump around. My bed was just by a side, separated by a wall. It can only accommodate one person.

Those that visited spoke against the rats, but I would jokingly tell them that they are my roommates and I would forbid them from killing the rats. It was a weird thing to those that heard. "How can you say that rats are your roommates? " To me, I was just catching fun.

Back to the discussion with the brother. It was the time that Lassa fever was ravaging Plateau state. He was telling me that I needed to announce to the whole house that we should be careful of the rats in the house as Lassa fever has killed two people in our local government (Jos North LG is quite small). He said that the initial symptoms of the disease is persistent fever which could be misleading.

Unknown to this brother, I was already feeling feverish for a few days. The fear that gripped me that morning was a tangible one. I could almost hold it. Two days later was a sunday and the fever was still there.

I began to think of how several people have warned me about the rats in my room and I kept on saying that they are my roommates. What would they say? I thought of my parents and friends back in the southwest. And this thing does not have cure. Yawa don gas!

Around 2pm, we got a news that some house members had accident and I needed to get to the hospital to check them. Before we left, I had to pick my bible and read Psalm 91 with a vibrating mouth. Fear had completely taken over my system. All that was left was for me to start speaking it, but I decided against it. "I will not confess this", I told myself. Online or offline; I will not confess defeat.

By evening, during NCCF service, I was behind the laptop used for projection and all I could feel was my head to my waist. My legs seemed as if they had been cut off. To everything in my brain, death had come. I thought of spreading the disease in the house, but I couldn't bear to see the house in disarray over what may not be true.

It's over a year now and I am still alive (obviously...lol). Whether i contacted the fever or not, I never found out. Fear can be very tangible, but it is completely virtual.

In 2014, I attended a program in Offa, Kwara state and one of the resource personnel said that whether you walk in faith or fear, it depends on the information you have. Never forget that.