Proposal Palava: Should I involve God while proposing?

As a freshman in College, I saw two categories of Christians on Campus. One group was a people I could describe as the “Grace Junkies” while the other category were people who were consecrated in their outward appearance. In my mind, I felt the seemingly consecrated group has the true Christians as I thought that the two groups cannot be right. It has to be either of them. The groups disagreed on several doctrinal matters especially on how the outward appearance of a Christian should look like.

Well, it’s not just my campus that has this setting; it has actually developed into a tool dividing the body of Christ. Through my journey on the campus, I found myself jumping from one end of the rope to the other end until I found a very instructive post on Facebook by Rick Joyner where He said that the heresies in the church are as a result of a lack of the knowledge of the counterbalancing truths of some truths.

Involving God while proposing seems like a wrong thing to do by many because they believe a proposal should be an account of how the guy feels and not an account of the dreams and prayers that made him certain of his action. Actually, people who involve what God said or one sort of dream is seen as religious. While, I may not agree with that, I wouldn’t throw away the perception either.

I recently did a survey involving thirty ladies that I randomly selected from my WhatsApp contact list. I asked them what they would want a guy to say to them while proposing and I got answers that were very interesting. Some don’t care about it, but majority said: I want to hear how he feels about me. Someone said he must couch it in a romantic way, another said it must be memorable.

Then I rephrased the question and asked them what they would do if a guy walks up to them and said “God told me you are my wife”. Oh boy! When I saw the responses, I was glad I asked the question over the phone. It was like I encountered the good old AC Milan team with Jaap Stam and Gattuso.

The ladies were not pleased. Some said it’s a rude way to propose as it does not give the lady any chance to make her own decision as God does not force anyone to do things. Majority told me that the guy must be joking. A writer friend said “He is on a long road to nowhere”. One of my little friends said “Pastor, that era has passed”. Am glad at the reply of my friends, but in it, I saw a danger. Now this is my take on the details that should be involved in a proposal.

 Marriage is an institution enacted by God which means we cannot decide how to do it without God. That been said, we must also remember that God gave us emotions; however He does not lead by emotions, but by His Spirit. So as not to fall into the error of picking one side again, we must balance the proposal. God’s will is good, perfect and acceptable. Acceptable means that the guy he is revealing a woman to will develop the necessary hormones he needs to feel the love that ladies are asking for.

My point is this: How a guy feels should not be the basis on which a lady should begin to pray about, but what he heard from the Lord. Our feelings are not reliable, especially the feelings of guys. I believe that before a guy can walk up to a lady and ask for her hand in marriage, he must have developed feelings for her, but we must know that the feelings are a product of God working in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

There are several actresses that guys have loved especially the Indian ones simply because they are attractive. A married man can still recognize attractive ladies, but what keeps him with his beloved wife is because of what he heard from the Lord at the beginning. I think ladies should be more interested in what he heard from the Lord as that is what will keep him with you forever. However, a confession of how the guy feels should also take place.

In no particular order, I believe a proposal should involve what God told you and how you feel about her and what the lady would pray about is what the guy claimed he heard from God and not how he feels, even though, it is important that the lady knows how the guy feels. One of the replies I got from the survey said: "you are the one that wants to marry me, not God. Tell me how you feel".

Now, because some people cook up dreams and visions to sway ladies does not mean that God does not truly give dreams and visions about who to marry again. He is faithful even in our unfaithfulness and if the Most High gives a dream, IT SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. I think the guy should say it and the lady should confirm it HERSELF.